what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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