do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
