i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
