bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
