does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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