he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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