I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
