she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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