What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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