Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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