I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize