And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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