your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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