is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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