Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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