did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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