Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
