let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
