so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
