Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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