Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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