check it out our google latitudes are spooning
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
