I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
