Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
