D3 body, D1 cock
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
