I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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