did you get engaged???
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
