Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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