haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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