Are we in a gay sports bar?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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