So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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