She is in my trunk
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
