That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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