its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
