Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
