:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
