Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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