I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
