What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
