1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
