Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
