Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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