The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
