i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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