He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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