Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
