I think I am morally bankrupt
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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