At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
