The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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