are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
