Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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