There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
